Wednesday, September 5, 2007

R. Kelly: The White Whale of Justice

Robert Kelly of Chicago, IL is one of the biggest names in the music world. There are three ways that you know R. Kelly, as he likes to call himself in what can only be referred to as a sheer lack of creativity.

The first is the platinum-selling artist who released such classically named songs as "Feeling on Your Booty," "Bump 'N' Grind," "Ignition," "Ignition (Remix)," "Fiesta," "Down Low," and "I Believe I Can Fly." His blend of street aesthetics and unadulterated sexuality won him many fans amongst both women and men. He hit the crossover with his song for the Space Jam soundtrack "I Believe I Can Fly." People got into the song's inspirational message and disregarded the songs about having sex that Kelly is so well known for. Sexuality aside, R. Kelly is a musician of great talent, one whose career has been able to strive through many highs and twice as many lows.

If the R. Kelly that sings songs doesn't ring a bell for you, there is R. Kelly the actor. Displaying his abilities to play myriad roles and write compelling dialogue, R. Kelly made his own soap opera called Trapped in the Closet. This blogger is quite the fan of this series. The dialogue is clever if you are on crack and the acting is better than mediocre. Trapped in the Closet is clearly a high piece of cinematic art, one to go down for the ages.

If neither of these R. Kellys is ringing a bell for you, the only other R. Kelly that exists is the one that is obsessed with tiny girls. From his relationship with Aaliyah back in the Early 90s, we've all known that Kelly has had an obsession with jailbait. This fact left all of us with little surprise when R. Kelly was busted on child pornography charges. The most surprising part was the fact that Kelly loves the water sports. But, there is another surprising fact.

It is currently 2007. The charges against Robert were brought in June of 2002. The fact that nothing has happened to this man is a minor feat within itself. I'm frankly impressed that this hasn't happened. Considering how much everyone apparently cares about children, I figure that the government would have taken faster action against someone who has a VIDEO of them peeing on an underage girl. Not just having sex, which he did too. This fact is why he is the white whale to justice's Ahab. I can only hope that no one writes an overly long book about this whole incident.