I'm Mint Jelly

Dear Reader-

I'm currently at the alma mater, throwing shit around and getting crazy with my friends. I will be back in the game with full force as soon as I return back to the casa. Additionally, I don't have my computer with me because I don't really need it for anything aside from doing this and, clearly, I'm not going to be doing a lot of this with my spare time, if you haven't already noticed.

Additionally, I have been searching for Viking and Ninja Warrior clips. That post will come and it WILL blow your mind eight ways to sunday. Love it. So, until that time, go barbeque something for the fallen soldiers and get wasted in their memory. They would have done the same thing if they were alive. Godspeed.

xo, Ace.

Throw Some D's

Kanye West- Throw Some D's Remix Freestyle. Pay attention. It's not as misogynistic as it appears on its front. There's certainly some of that in it, but not as much as you would think.

This one is dedicated to Jodie Marsh and her failed attempts at love

Also, bonus video. Cracked Out- Bennigan'z from Human Giant 24 hour marathon on MTV. It was genuinely awesome all the way through. I watched it when I was awake and not watching Ninja Warrior, a show that I will blog about tomorrow along with Viking.

Even She Doesn't Deserve This

Jodie Marsh, a woman that I previously blogged about here, had the first casting for her television show. She got TWO people and one of whom was drunk. This is on television, I mind you. Now, I don't know a lot about Ms. Marsh, nor do I necessarily care to. I refer you to the following picture as my reason.

Now, I'm not here to pass judgment against Ms. Marsh, but, from the minimal research that I've done, it does seem like she gets around. As if her male partners have been quite numerous. Additionally, she would like to be in a gang bang. You say I'm being harsh? Look at her wikipedia page. Ladies, how often do you think to yourself and say, "damn, I wish I had five men instead of just two! Double penetration is just so vanilla! I just need more dicks than two!" If you do, welcome to the world that is Jodie Marsh. Well, that and sleeping with two other women's boyfriends at the same time because she's a homewrecker. In short and for the uninitiated, Ms. Marsh is, essentially, Paris Hilton but with fake breasts and British.

By saying she is Paris, Jodie takes on all of the qualities of Ms. Hilton with the bitchiness, cattiness, and being a celebrity for no discernable reason. But, fortunately for the Brits, Marsh's reality shows tank instead of succeed like Hilton's The Simple Life (You know there's another one coming out right? E!, why do you torment me with this show? I can't watch more than five minutes because it makes me want to throw my television out the window and myself swiftly afterwards) with that basehead Nicole Ritchie.

While she is already unlikable, she only comes more unlikable in my book by being a supporter of PETA (I don't really believe in Animal Rights. They are not our equals. Some stuff that might be seen as PETA-friendly is quite differently motivated), smokes like a chimney, and someone who is constantly craving public approval for being horribly untalented. Even so, she doesn't deserve only two people to show up at her audition. At least five to ten should have shown up. But, seriously, I don't blame anyone for not showing up. Honestly, I know more about her sex life from this half-hour on her wikipedia page than I actually do about Lindsay Lohan from years of reading about her and she loves the dick. I should have found out way more about La Lohan's sex life than I know now. Jodie's always in the media for his antics. Do you want to be married to such a woman where your marriage is just a cheap ploy to gain more celebrity? I'd rather get worn out by Lohan's nymphomania than be a sorry ploy in this tawdry attempt for public attention.

But, my repulsion aside, Marsh shouldn't have to suffer through the embarrassment of showing up somewhere to only have two people there. Her publicist should have spot checked and then told her, "Jodie, you're a celebrity that pretty much everyone in Britain hates. This reality show you're trying to cast for is stupid, and you should go take those implants out your chest and go use your mind. Alright, you don't have to take the implants out, but maybe you should actually go do something with your life instead of trying to be famous since that one's not working out too well for you." That just seems like the sensible thing to do in this situation.

I Already Know

I've been MIA for the last little while. There's a multitude of reasons for that. The primary one is that I've been floating around in a state of ennui about my future. This week, I'm traveling to the alma mater to discuss my future with my old professors, some of whom are now deans but that is not the point. The point is that upon further thought, I have no idea of how I can describe my particular project for grad school. The simplest way to explain it is I want to research 20th Century Cultural and Social History, post-World War II subcultures, race, gender, sexuality, critical theory, popular culture, visual culture, and cultural studies.

My probable main goal is to write about grindhouse cinema (read: Blaxploitation, Sexploitation, Camp, B-Movies, Slasher Flicks, Low Budget Sci-fi, etc.) as sites of true political debate. This means that while the general image presented in said films can be read in a negative way, but, as I will argue, those negative images are in fact a challenge to the mainstream thoughts and its confining thoughts about the topics discussed. While it may have been lascivious or culturally damning, I would like to examine the ways in which the grindhouse offered us the only space where true politics could be discussed without the implied morality that is suggested in much of the American discourse. In a simpler way, the grindhouse films are visual arguments on body politics.

Yes, that's a bit pretentious, but, if you have watched enough of these films, that argument begins to make a lot more sense. Additionally, this topic will probably change as I learn more about those subject areas. So, why does this involve me being not as active with the blog? That answer isn't quite good enough for me. I want to be able to answer it more thoroughly. The professors that I'm talking to are very good diggers. They ask a lot of questions and are very demanding. If I don't come into the discussion on point, they'll question my motives and this is one of the few things that I have been rock solidly confident about once I came to it. To not let them get to me, I have to be hyper-prepared. So, I'm going to work on that today. Hopefully, I can get back into a rhythm tomorrow (Maybe, something will happen).

I also owe you a sunday list, but I can't do that right now. If you want to know what I'm listening to, I'm listening to T.I.'s King. I was reading some dude on the net while I was seething with frustration at hip-hop snobs (I used to be one, but I got into hardcore Southern rap and that pretty much went out the window. I prefer electro and old-school, but hot is hot and I can't hate as a head. The game may be dying from excess materialism, but there's a lot of hella good talent out there right now. HELLA good.) and he was talking about how he was a T.I. hater too, but got over it with King. Plus, T.I. keeps calling himself the king of the South or the Jay-Z of the South. Might as well see if he proves his claims. So far, he is, but I'm only 4 in.

If a tree falls, does it make a sound?

This whole week has been excruciatingly slow. I guess everyone was too busy watching the trainwreck that is both the Paul Wolfowitz now-resignation and Alberto Gonzales being further caught in a web of lies. With this said, I'm not going to really post today at least not in a conventional way. I'm not posting for the rest of the day, and I'm going to post in a rhetorical way now.

With my dissing of T.I. and 50 Cent yesterday, I'm using this sole post for today to display a series of talent that is in the mainstream of hip-hop that is actually positive, creative, inventive, and not caught up in all the bullshit that dominates lots of other rap. All of the stuff posted may not be modern, but all of these artists are still working and advancing the form while dropping something other than nihilism. Hip-hop will never die, but it needs to get its ass whipped. Maybe even get a shock from the defibrillator or a shot of adrenaline to the heart. Additionally, I would post a papoose rhyme, but I already have and I don't want to repeat myself.

Little Brother- Speed



Lupe Fiasco- I Got Cha



Ghostface Killah- Daytona 500



Pharoahe Monch- Gun Draws



Styles P, Papoose, & L. Fiasco- Cipher (All Freestyle)



Styles P. - Good Times



Kidz in the Hall- Wheels Fall Off



Rhymefest- More



Kanye West- Diamonds From Sierra Leone

Post 200!!!

The last post for today is post 200. This is something of an accomplish, one I should have noted when I passed 100. But, anyway, tonight's video is Wouldn't Get Far by The Game ft. Kanye West. It seems like every other rap video, but it's a bit more insidious. Listen to what they are saying. While you think about this, I'll think about the way I've been getting killed on XXL about saying that I wasn't impressed by either 50 or T.I.'s response to the criticism of hip-hop. And, just to be perfectly clear, commercial hip-hop is dead/dying. The underground is still repping, but they haven't been as hot as they've needed to be. I should call it rap, but that won't necessarily work since so many aspects of rap have leaked into hip-hop, which is more frequently considered as the catch-all for the culture. It's whatever though. I'm just sick of rappers being irresponsible, contributing to the decline of the form and the negative images of Black culture then hiding behind the guise of artistic freedom.

So, with the rant done. This is the Game and Kanye.

This is Why Hip-Hop Is Dead

With these two videos, T.I. and 50 Cent have further dug the grave for hip-hop. Firstly, they are completely inarticulate. Secondly, T.I. does have a good point in saying that some people do want rappers to teach their children. I don't, but this doesn't let the rappers off the hook so fast. Just because you aren't raising my kids doesn't mean that you don't hold a responsibility to not glamorize a lifestyle that leaves so many of our young Black men dead or in jail. T.I. justifies the brutality of his rapping by saying that was his life and he rose up from it. But, in flaunting that lifestyle and glamorizing drug dealing and excessive vanity, T.I. is just adding to the ire of the conservative others who are actually trying to shut down rap.

50 Cent also does a terrible job of trying to defend hip-hop as well. He tries to reference the war and the other forms of violent imagery in America. The last time I checked, people have been complaining about violence in films for a very, very long time. I can't think of a time when someone wasn't complaining about the violent nature of a film. Also, 50 Cent needs a fact checker or someone who can feed him correct information about the DC Madam scandal. He called the ESCORTS embroiled in this scandal hos when they didn't need to be; they are escorts. It just shows you that 50 Cent has no idea of what he's talking about nor has Curtis thought about how he sees himself as an artist and how others see him as an artist. Also, his defense of the violent, misogynistic, homophobic content of rap is made analogous to painting the American flag without red paint. This, flat out, does not make sense. Rap has existed without all of the violence and misogyny. Some of the classic albums in the game have existed without this. Has everyone forgotten Paid in Full? Strictly Business? The Low End Theory? The Cactus Album? Paul's Boutique? Long Live the Kane? Do I need to keep on?

50 Cent tries to call hip-hop a mirror on society. What part of rapping about putting huge rims on your car, completely tricking it out are part of most people in the hood's experience? Is that a part of Black people's harsh experience in America? Additionally, why is 50 Cent talking about reality in the hood? He lives in a huge house in Connecticut. Curtis is not hood anymore, but he still talks about shooting people and bullshit. Cormega, a dope MC, came from the same background as T.I. and 50, but has some positivity in his raps. So, with raps devoid of positive images and continuing on talking about the same bullshit that White America wants rap to talk about, what does this make him other than a minstrel?

50 Cent also talks about rap not being successful if it isn't racy. This is true. Public Enemy released very racy albums, but those albums were driven by the politics of a downtrodden Black public. The whole Native Tongues clique dropped albums based in a radical political framework. Additionally, when dudes like NWA were dropping their work, they were that life. They were radical at their time because they were not the party rappers that dominated the late 1980's. They were offensive, but, since that time, they matured, recognized their errors of their ways primarily through the death of Easy-E to AIDS. 50 Cent is unwilling to do this. T.I. is also unwilling to do it, even though he has five kids.

In the end, I'm not surprised that either of these men said what they did because it is what I would expect them to say. And that is the most depressing part of it all. T.I. and 50 Cent are two of the largest selling artists in America right now. They get their music heard by millions of people around America. But, neither of them are willing to be responsible and say, yea, this is how I used to live my life but I have moved past that, I got my life clean, and I'm not about a lot of junk anymore. I should rap about how my life has become better and how I got out, focusing on my craft instead of trying to keep a street edge. If dudes in the street feel you, they feel you. But this requires an ability to assess one's own image in society and be responsible for it. Neither T.I. nor 50 Cent is really willing to do these things. They are only concerned with how much money they make and these comments have made that viewpoint crystal clear. Frankly, I'm disinterested if you want to rap about violence because it does happen in society. But, talking about violence like it is cool or what is done to solve problems is ridiculous and is leading to the demise of hip-hop as a form. And just to prove my point, this is the second verse from "Ryder Music" off of 50's The Massacre:

Last year I woke up with good luck, damn it feels good
On the low, I done fucked like half of Hollywood
Had yo' favorite actress, from yo' favorite shows
In my favorite position, you know how it goes
And my Bentley bumpin Prince shit, this is "When Doves Cry"
This is what it sounds like when hollow-tip slugs fly
Homey this is somethin you can ride and smoke to
Stay on point, cause niggaz will ride and smoke you
Jealousy's for women but some niggaz is bitch made
They make you wanna run across they head with a switchblade
They point the finger at me, sayin I'm bugged
My flow's crack, you listen?  Your fuckin brain's on drugs
Look ice drippin on my neck, hands grippin on a tec
Fool trippin threw a set, you can get yo' ass wet
Cards messin up my deck, screws loose show respect
You try to come at me kid yo' ass better come correct

Now, do you understand what I mean in saying that 50 is a minstrel. This bullshit is what White America wants Black artists to say. It keeps them superior, and it keeps our people subjugated.

Yes!

I posted on this story before. In case you missed it, a Michigan cop confiscated weed and baked into brownies with his wife. Then, paranoid, the cop called 911.

This is the tape of the 911 call. Note the woman in the background who is cracking up when they come back.

A New Letter To Britney

Dear Britney,

I would have hoped that you learned from your previous incident where you were caught out in public with your bra and panties on full blast. But, with the surfacing of this picture, I have to say that you haven't. In fact, this is a more egregious failure of fashion. I can see your boobs in an opaque shirt as well. You don't need to wear this burgundy mesh shirt or the TWO-TONE Bra. What you thought I wouldn't notice that thing has a snake and leopard pattern on it? And it's got blue straps, too! Fantastic! Yea another tragedy. I swear, you come out in public and look worse and worse. Additionally, who ever your stylist is, s/he needs to be fired. Why? Do I need to say? Look at your wig! It looks like an animal died on your head. I don't know if I should just let it go or try to save it from inhumane treatment. Also, leave the Kangol hats to Samuel L. Jackson. Once you start quoting sections of the bible and chaining petite white female nymphomaniacs to radiators, we'll talk about that. Also, way for the hat to not match ANYTHING that you are wearing. Just awful. I want to like you, but your making it so hard for me.

On a positive, your body's on point. Too bad nothing else is.

Peace, Britney. xo, Ace

Grandma's a Freak

NSFW: Watch it. Love it. Video Brilliance.

No More Ethanol

Seriously, Bush is wrong on this one. Ethanol is a joke. Save our corn! Keep costs down! Help Kentucky keep me knee deep in bourbon!

Slight Disappointment

While I didn't like a lot of things about D.C., most of which related to government, I did like the fact that it was one of the cities where Black people were in power. This was to the city's benefit and detriment, but that is a discussion that we can have over coffee when we have like three hours to spare. But, with the ongoing bout of gentrification started by that ass Anthony Williams, the city is going to lose its Black majority. I'm sure this will make the Capitol Hill aides who are scared of Black people ecstatic*, but it disappoints me a bit. As long as the city doesn't become majority white, I'm alright. If it becomes majority white, they'll try to zone out Spicy Delight, the quality Jamaican/Caribbean restaurant in Takoma Park b/w Cedar & Maple on Carroll that has sketchy business hours. Best curries and rotis in the city, bar none. It's better than some of the food that I had in the Caribbean, and this one is next to a train station. Whatever you get, get it with the side of coco bread.

*white people: chill. I know all of you aren't racist. But, let's be real, some of you clutch your purses a little bit harder when you pass a black guy or divert your eyes when a Black woman walks past.

This Actually Makes a Lot of Sense

I knew that Cycling required a bit of vanity (how do you think that Mario Cipollini rode around in a zebra-print outfit during the 2003 tour?), but this is either taking it a step too far or just keeping it real. I'm not sure. I'll leave you with the comment, and you can make your own decision. From the Guardian:

No, we shave our legs because we think it looks good. Not even good, actually; just right. For a serious cyclist to ride with hairy legs is a grotesque solecism. It shows a shocking lack of savoir-faire and form.

Could you imagine the snickering that would occur if someone didn't shave their legs before one of the grand tours or the important one-day races? Oh, hilarious. I love it.

Fox News: Paying Dividends

On Live Desk with Martha McCallum, she (M. McCallum) talked to a lady in Brattleboro, VT about the nudists walking around in the town. Theresa Toney was not happy that people could just galavant down the street in their birthday suits. I'm assuming that she wants some people to maintain some sense of shame and civility in their lives. But, regardless of my feelings, Toney can't do anything anyway. Vermont and Brattleboro do not have rules against public nudity. Now, I went to a school that had a lot of nudity. Not a ton, but enough to make you pay attention. Public nudity is not that big of a deal. We are in a huge war, the economy is in a bad place, and we are stuck in an election cycle with some of the most uncharismatic characters of all time. America has larger issues to deal with other than some guy and girl, who aren't doing anyone any harm, decided to jettison their clothing for the day. This is a dumb issue for Ms. Toney to spend her time arguing against. If you see someone nude and you don't like it, just turn your head or look at them in the eye. Just because they are naked doesn't mean you have to stare at their bouncy bits, of which there are hopefully few. Let the nudists roam free!!!!

Just a Note

If I seem on edge about things in my post, I'm watching Fox News Channel for a bit. I am to maintain neutrality and stay fully informed. But, I can't let the fact that this guy on here now (Mike Evans) saying that Iran has given the go-ahead to HIZBOLLAH to start SUICIDE BOMBING in America phase me. Shit, nevermind. I've only been watching this for like ten minutes, and I'm already scared for my life. I don't know how people sit around and watch this for hours on end. No wonder conservatives are always on edge about things.

NILFs

Last night on The Daily Show, Samantha Bee exposed the world to the NILF: News I'd Like to Fuck. Yep, that's right. There are a lot of hotties in the news nowadays. Ms. Bee helps you navigate the scene.



Personally, I'm a CNN and MSNBC watcher, but the women on Fox are a step beyond both of them. They might be haters, but their anchors are straight lookers.

Travel Advisory

For all exploratory type folks, don't go to Nigeria, especially to the Northern states. Why? Because you may get stoned.

Art and the Batshit who Buy It

Contrary to what that title suggests, I actually love art. Art's a fantastic thing that societies need to beautify and enlighten themselves. Social qualities aside, art is being sold for entirely too much money right now. In a Christie's Auction, a Warhol piece sold for 71.7 Million dollars American. This comes close to, but does not surpass, the record set by the sale of a Rothko canvas which sold for 72.76 million dollars. Maybe it's just me and my infinite cheapness, but doesn't that seem kind of high for a piece of art, a piece that may conceivably have no greater connection to the artist other than the fact that their name MAY be on it? I don't think that anyone, even the best salesman on Earth, could convince me to shell out 70+ million dollars on one thing! The fact that people are buying things at these sorts of levels blows my mind.

Keep The Diddley in Your Minds

The late night sendoff is dedicated to one of the true musical innovators of all-time: Bo Diddley. Currently, he's laid up in a hospital bed due to a stroke. I hope that he pulls through alright and keeps playing the real rock and roll music. This video is from the 1960s and has the requisite screaming teenage girls. It's also fantastic. Love it. I'm out!

Would You Marry This Woman?

This is Jodie Marsh. She's sort of like Jordan a/k/a Katie Price. Primary difference is she isn't married or pregnant for that matter. These things bother her and now she has enlisted the talents of MTV to help with this. That's right: this one has a reality show too, but don't trip. Her show is not going to come to America; it's only in Britain. We don't have to worry about her being foisted upon us. But, I do feel bad for the British. They will have to watch this woman track down the possible love of her life on national television. It's sure to leave folks in pain.

NB: the picture is from the link. I'm not trying to get sued or anything like that.