Thursday, May 17, 2007

A New Letter To Britney

Dear Britney,

I would have hoped that you learned from your previous incident where you were caught out in public with your bra and panties on full blast. But, with the surfacing of this picture, I have to say that you haven't. In fact, this is a more egregious failure of fashion. I can see your boobs in an opaque shirt as well. You don't need to wear this burgundy mesh shirt or the TWO-TONE Bra. What you thought I wouldn't notice that thing has a snake and leopard pattern on it? And it's got blue straps, too! Fantastic! Yea another tragedy. I swear, you come out in public and look worse and worse. Additionally, who ever your stylist is, s/he needs to be fired. Why? Do I need to say? Look at your wig! It looks like an animal died on your head. I don't know if I should just let it go or try to save it from inhumane treatment. Also, leave the Kangol hats to Samuel L. Jackson. Once you start quoting sections of the bible and chaining petite white female nymphomaniacs to radiators, we'll talk about that. Also, way for the hat to not match ANYTHING that you are wearing. Just awful. I want to like you, but your making it so hard for me.

On a positive, your body's on point. Too bad nothing else is.

Peace, Britney. xo, Ace