Sunday, June 10, 2007

If You Would Like To Learn How To Play Basketball

I know how to play basketball. I went to Stu Vetter's Basketball Camp when I was in elementary school. But, my dreams of being an athlete were stopped dead in their tracks when I attempted to try out for middle school basketball and realized that I lacked all semblances of athletic talent. I didn't think when I was 12 that I was going to blog, but I digress. Because of that time at Stu's camp, I do know and appreciate high quality basketball.

If you know nothing about basketball, its strategies and intricacies, I highly suggest you start watching right now. The NBA Finals are going on right now. It is the upstart Cleveland Cavaliers with the heir apparent to Michael Jordan's throne LeBron James. I personally have problems with this classification, but, if you want to talk about that, send me an email. The Cavaliers are playing the San Antonio Spurs. Some of you might not have known that there is a team in San Antonio. Well, there is and it is the team that all other teams and fans should watch to understand how to play basketball. The Spurs are one of the most fundamentally sound teams in the league.

For these MTV-addled kids, The Spurs are what you would call a "boring team." They aren't high flying like the Phoenix Suns or the Golden State (CA) Warriors. None of their players are particularly charismatic like Stephon Marbury or Vince Carter. This last aspect highlighted by the fact that their star player Tim Duncan, who will go down in history as the best power forward ever to set foot on a professional basketball court, has the nickname of the "Big Fundamental" (Are you serious?). The only reason they even get attention from people outside of the basketball world is because their point guard Tony Parker (Balance-toi!) is marrying Eva Longoria. If you don't know what show she's from, click on her name and find out yourself. Also, smite yourself for being out of touch with popular culture. Eva aside, the Spurs play the basketball that all teams should aspire to play. It's team-oriented, without ego, modular with sound fundamentals. Just from watching, you will learn how to play, watch, and critique basketball.

Ladies, are you having problems pulling men? Men, are you having problems connecting with other men because you know nothing about sports while it seems like everyone else you know does? This series is for you. Now, stop reading this and go watch.

p.s. I see basketball as a sort of performance art due to the nature and presentation of the sport. If I remember, I will go into this at another time, maybe between Game 3 and 4, i.e. Tuesday and Thursday. And, I'm serious about basketball as art. This isn't some bullshit theorizing about the nature of sport and its relationship to the cultural sphere.