Wednesday, August 8, 2007

LNS: A Few Words on T-Pain

So, I woke up hungover last Saturday morning. Hungry as I was, I took a Goody's (note: if you have hangovers or any real pain, buy a box of Goody's now. It works better than Advil, Tylenol, Bayer, all that shit. Goody's is the realness. You cats in the North might not be able to find it in stores, but it's readily available on the Internet. 5 for 50 powders. Bam!), put on a pair of pants, and did what anyone with a hangover would do: go to a pancake breakfast fundraiser for the high school soccer team in Charles Town. The pancakes left my mouth so dry a tall glass of water did not quench my thirst. But, this post is not about pancakes, it's about music.

So, while we were going to the fundraiser, I heard this song from this dude named T-Pain. If you don't know who T-Pain is, I'm going to try to explain him if you haven't heard of him before, which means that you don't watch TV or listen to the radio. I'm with you there, but I get unlucky from time to time. Anyway, T-Pain is like recent Cher (think Believe) but with snaps. The vocoder lead is done over a 3/4 snap beat. T-Pain also has a fixation on the club. His first song was about being in love with a stripper. His second song was about meeting a girl at the club and buying her a drink. If you thought his club fixation could not go on any longer, you'd be wrong.

This is the video for Bartender. Can you guess the premise of this video? Can you? Anyway, I only have one request for T-Pain. The snap thing's alright. That shit's kind of catchy. It's ruining hip-hop, but whatever. Anyway, T-Pain, I need to talk to you, mano e mano. T-Pain, I think you need to leave the club. I know you're trying to pick up girls and all that. But, you can meet girls at the swap meet, the movies, the diner, the late night spot, pretty much anywhere that's not a club. Can you work on that for me? Can you make a song about not picking up a girl in the club or about being fixated on a girl in the club? If you could, that would be great. Thanks a bunch, T-Pain!